"When you make the commitment to becoming great at what you do, and becoming so good that they can't ignore you, that in itself builds confidence."
Master of magic and communications, Vinh Giang shares 7 Tips on how to increase confidence. Vinh combines humor, misdirection (one of his “magic” tricks) and years of experience working with audiences and teams to bring thought leadership to his methodology of becoming more confident. Watch the video and learn more! Don’t forget to watch to see how many fingers he’s holding up!
Tip # 1:
Definition: When you take something philosophical and also make it pragmatic. With this first point, this is the point of wisdom. You see, people don't see you through their eyes, they see you through your eyes. As you improve the way you see yourself, it improves the way that I see you.
Can you see how this is a little bit philosophical but at the same time, it can be extremely pragmatic? We often think that, “if I want to change the way other people see me, I'm going to have to change things about them.” Whereas, in actual reality, to change the way people see you, you have to change the way you see yourself. There are many ways in which you can do this – read the next tips and learn more.
Tip # 2:
MAKE THE COMMITMENT TO BECOME GREAT AT WHAT YOU DO.
There's a great quote by Steve Martin who says, “Be So Good They Can't Ignore You.” I love this quote so much, because when you make the commitment to becoming great at what you do, and becoming so good that they can't ignore you, that in itself builds confidence.
Let me explain why. When you become exceptional at what you do, ultimately what that means is that you have more impact – in your family, your work life, your community and in the world. And as you have more impact, you will begin to feel more confident within yourself. And, you know what else? You're going to feel an incredible amount of joy, fulfillment and purpose. These are such important ingredients when you're putting together the cocktail of confidence.
Tip # 3:
MAKE THE COMMITMENT TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS
The reason why communication skills are so important is because you are able to:
- articulate your thoughts with clarity and precision
- bring your vision to life
- inspire an influence with the way you communicate
These things allow you to feel heard, seen and to no longer feel invisible.
When people experience feelings like, “what I say doesn't matter and what I do doesn't matter” – you feel really insignificant and, even worse, invisible.
Tip # 4:
START FACING YOUR FEARS
One of the reasons why this is so important is because, as we face our fears, we build a bank of evidence to prove to ourselves that we are becoming more courageous.
One of the things that scared me more than anything in this world – even though I'm a keynote speaker and do public speaking for a living – is stand-up comedy. Nothing scares me more than a room filled with less than 10 people who are sitting there with the expectation that you're going to make them laugh. Gives me the heebie jeebies!
So, a couple of years ago I made the decision to face this fear. And I jumped on stage for a five-minute set – this was one of the scariest things I've done in my life. But the moment I did it, and the moment I faced that fear, I started to add to the bank of evidence that I am a courageous person.
And just by doing this, I now fear stand-up comedy even more. JUST KIDDING! I'm no longer scared of it – it doesn't frighten me as much. Before I was 10 out of 10 fearful. Now I'm about a six out of 10. It's just not as scary anymore.
The more you start to do things like this, the more you start to build that bank of evidence that you are someone that's courageous, and as you start to get those badges and put them on yourself, you will start to feel more confident.
Tip # 5:
Just how many fingers was he holding up, anyway? 🤔
Tip # 6:
DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE
Be kind, be compassionate, do something for somebody else. The act of contribution is amazing. It does amazing things for your self-esteem, it does amazing things for your level of happiness, and I know self-esteem and happiness definitely contribute to self-confidence.
I'll give you an example. The other day I was walking through the city in South Australia, and I saw a Japanese band playing. Watching them play, they were smiling, having a good time and just seemed to be living life to the fullest in that moment. I remembered when I used to do close-up magic, busking in the city for some money. When somebody contributed a little bit of money to me, it made me feel amazing.
I took this opportunity to do an act of kindness – I wanted to contribute to their passion and encourage them to continue their passion, so I gave them a tip. Next, I jumped onto Instagram and left them a comment to inspire them to continue and pursue what they love. They commented back with gratitude, which filled me with joy – it made me feel good about myself. And guess what? All of these things lead to me feeling more confident in who I am as a person.
Tip # 7:
FOCUS ON THE THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL
The final one is a simple, yet brilliant one by a man named Coach John Wooden, who says, “If you focus on the things you can't control. You soon lose control of the things you can control.” This is great wisdom.
If you want to be more confident, focus just on the things you can control and let go of the things you can't control.
Is it important to become more confident? The answer is yes – when you are more confident you become a better parent, son or daughter to your parents, a better partner, a better leader and a can be a better teammate to your colleagues. Increasing confidence transforms how we relate to everyone in our life and how we relate in our world.