How to Create Authentic Connections

By Chris Bashinelli | September 22, 2020

Creating an authentic connection with others can be tricky. Understanding the other person's experience, not the image we think their life is, is what it's all about. How do they actually feel?
Chris Bashinelli explains why connecting with others' experiences is vital.

One of the best ways to deepen our connection with one another is to do our best to understand the other person's experience, not the image of what we think their life is about.

When we look at someone and say, Oh, I wish I could travel like this person, or I wish I could be in a relationship like this person, I wish I could live in this type of house in this type of city and have this type of job.

It can be a very objectifying experience. We're actually removing ourselves from the other person because we're comparing ourselves only to the image of what we think their life is about. Not to the actuality of their experience.

When we can interact with others and do our best to understand their experience, not the image of what we think their experience is, then we can actually build connections. How does this person actually feel when they're travelling? What is this person's experience in their relationship with their family? In that house? In that type of job? Then we're not comparing ourselves to that person's image. We're not trying to understand their image, which is objectifying and creates separation between us and them.

What we're doing is we're creating a direct connection to their experience, and that person feels seen. That person feels heard. And we can actually build humanity, authentic connection with one another.

Chris-Bashinelli-National-Geographic